Can you heal from abuse? What do I do after leaving my narcissist? What does a healthy relationship look like? These concerns cross the minds of over 20 people every minute; over 28,800 people every day. And the sad fact is, we still don’t talk about it enough. Healing from Emotional Abuse isn’t a bandaid situation. But it doesn’t have to be a five year process either. Millions of other survivors around the worlds entire lives have been impacted by their narcissist. Yours doesn’t have to. To show you how to live a free, confident and peaceful life, your host and Founder of the Healing From Emotional Abuse Philosophy, Marissa F. Cohen.
Overcoming narcissism and healing from emotional abuse are so important to your mental health and to living a life of freedom, confidence and peace. Today, I want to discuss What Makes a good relationship.
Everybody has different expectations for what they want in a partner, and what makes up a good relationship, but there are four areas in which a relationship needs to be solid in order for it to be considered a healthy relationship.
A healthy relationship needs to have communication, trust, respect and emotional support to succeed.
Communication skills come in two forms, verbal communication and nonverbal communication. Verbal communication, is the way we speak to each other. Do we speak to each other with encouraging words, love, respect, and kindness? Verbal communication is how we get to know each other. Our likes and dislikes, the things that makes us tick. It’s how we argue and fight, set and learn boundaries. It’s the quickest and most efficient way to learn about each other.
Nonverbal communication is body language and facial expressions. Being observant to how your partner responds to your words and your behaviors. The things that make them smile or cry. The ways in which their body moves in reaction to things. You learn a lot about a persons psychology by watching how they move, when they move, and communicating motions of love, acceptance and comfort.
When there are barriers in communication, or situations in which we are miscommunicating or communicating improperly, it causes discomfort and resistance. It pushes our partner away. And that’s a large contributor to toxic relationships.
In toxic relationships, we are taught to not trust anyone aside from our narcissist, including ourselves. A healthy relationship is built on trust. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and that includes a feeling of security, loyalty and commitment. In toxic relationships, narcissists will lie, cheat and gaslight us, making us feel crazy and instilling us with self-doubt. That shaky and unstable lack of trust does a lot of damage to the relationship.
In a healthy relationship, you feel secure and that it’s stable and there is a solid foundation of commitment and loyalty. You aren’t worried that your toxic partner is cheating on you and lying about it. You’re not worried that there is somebody else or that you need to hold on tighter to keep them around. Your partner trusts you, and you trust them, and there’s a mutual feeling of comfort and security.
Respect is arguably the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. Respect is showing somebody that you care, that you are valid, and that you are loved. When you respect someone, you hold them in high regard, and their opinion and interests matter to you.
You can respect someones opinion, even if you disagree. You can respect someones boundaries, especially when you’ve experienced a narcissist, someone respecting your boundaries is really important. You can respect someones space and wishes.
All of these amount to a very healthy balance of power, and a healthy relationship.
4. Emotional Support
Humans are social creatures, which means that we require emotional support. We have our logical side and our emotional side. Even if one over-powers the other, we are all still motivated by emotion. That’s why we love sentimental things, and watching movies. They spark some sort of emotion, whether it be adrenaline, happiness, sadness, fear, etc.
When we, as survivors are having bad days, or episodes or just feeling bad, we need someone to give us the emotional support that we require. If that means that they just listen to you vent, or comfort you, or bring your favorite food, then that’s enough. And it works both ways. A healthy relationship is one where the playing field is equal, and both partners feel supported emotionally.
Hey! If you enjoyed this podcast, you have to check out www.MarissaFayeCohen.com/Private-Coaching. Marissa would love to develop a made-for-you healing plan to heal from emotional abuse. She does all the work, and you just show up. Stop feeling stuck, alone, and hurt, and live a free, confident, and peaceful life. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Healing From Emotional Abuse podcast, and follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/marissafcohen, and instagram @Marissa.Faye.Cohen. We’d love to see you there!