Can you heal from abuse? What do I do after leaving my narcissist? What does a healthy relationship look like? These concerns cross the minds of over 20 people every minute; over 28,800 people every day. And the sad fact is, we still don’t talk about it enough. Healing from Emotional Abuse isn’t a bandaid situation. But it doesn’t have to be a five year process either. Millions of other survivors around the worlds entire lives have been impacted by their narcissist. Yours doesn’t have to. To show you how to live a free, confident and peaceful life, your host and Founder of the Healing From Emotional Abuse Philosophy, Marissa F. Cohen.
Welcome to a special episode of Healing From Emotional Abuse. I know that we’ve all received email blasts about Covid-19 from every mailing list we’ve ever signed up for, at least I did, about what every company is doing to take precautions. That’s great. I’m joining those people, but more as a PSA.
In the midst of this craziness with Corona-pocalypse, I want to spread a Kindness PSA.
Abusers and Narcissists are most likely working from home now, as most people, at least in various states are confined to their homes. And even if they’re not, the world is in a chaotic state. That became really apparent when people started fighting in supermarket aisles over toilet paper, and I almost got run over in Walmart by another shopper to get to the gatorade first.
The heightened stress will typically increase abusive explosions and survivors don’t have anywhere to go. Everyone is quarantined, self-quarantined, or just encouraged to stay in their homes. Leaving is hard when the world is not in financial ruin and slowly crumbling to the ground around us. However, now, when everyone is afraid of Covid / Coronavirus and trying to manage and reduce the spreading of it, it will be more difficult for survivors to leave their abusers. For a few reasons.
- Shelters might be stricter on taking in new people for fear of infecting the safe house and other survivors living there.
- There will be less of a chance or opportunity for them to flee safely, because the abuser will always be home. They will be monitored.
- Gathering and securing any money to leave will be more difficult, because there are limited resources for securing income.
- The chance for fatalities becomes heightened from both Mob Mentality, and from Abusive Explosions.
- The healthcare and hospitals that survivors would go to after an incident will most likely be full, or limited in the medical care that they can provide.
For all of these reasons, I wanted to try and do my part in spreading kindness and empathy towards each other. We are living through a scary time. If not for us personally, then for friends and family members who will be more aggressively affected by this covid virus.
People become selfish, and aggressive, with an “every man for themselves” mentality. THAT is the most dangerous part. The fact that there are videos of people fighting over a roll of toilet paper makes me sad. This is the most opportune time to deny psychologists the explanation that stressful situations tear communities apart, and instead come together and help support each other. We are more likely to survive and thrive in times of stress and hardship when every man is for everyone – sharing resources, and support. Those of us that have outside the home battles in addition to the inside the home battles, like abuse, need empathy and comfort more than ever. And I hope that this strong and beautiful community can come together and give them that.
But, that does not mean to put your family at risk. Some things you can do for survivors at this time, that won’t put you or your family in jeopardy are:
- Give the survivors in your life love and support to know that they aren’t alone, and have a place to run or people that will empower them when they are ready and able to leave.
- Help them research shelters and nonprofits that are available when the time is right.
- Help them find places to secure money, maybe into a separate bank account where their abuser cannot access it or see it.
That doesn’t mean to give them money, but helping them keep their money safe. A lot of times people will hide change or hide money throughout their house, and that might pose a problem when the abuser is always home. Financial abuse.
- Help to create a safety plan with them of where and how they can get out and go when the quarantines are over, and they have a safe opportunity to leave.
The reason I do not recommend invite survivors into your house in times like this is, the abuser will have plenty of time to search for them, and that could put you and your family in danger. You do not want the abuser to come break down your door and hurt you or your family. To be proactive in keeping everybody safe, I would follow these four guidelines in helping, so that when quarantines are over and when people can leave their houses again, they’re very prepared.
I also think it’s important to mention that in crisis situations and natural disasters, the rate of emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, rape and sexual assault also increase. That could be being displaced, in a shelter, staying in an unfamiliar place, or even in your home. But people are losing control of their reality. Everything in the routine is different – so people lose their minds and, abusers grab for control where they can. I am by NO MEANS justifying any sort of violent act — not rape or sexual assault, emotional abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, or any sort of abuse. I just wanted to help bring situational awareness.
Be aware of your surroundings. If you’re in a shelter or know someone in a shelter, be cautious and aware or encourage them to do so. If you’re staying with someone, anyone, a stranger, a friend of a friend, a friend of yours, a family member, or anyone outside of your normal housing situation, you can be at an increased risk of emotional abuse, sexual assault, physical abuse. Take precautions to keep yourself safe.
I can’t stress enough the importance of evading the mob mentality. In crisis situations, there are more fatalities from looting, riots and chaos, than there are from the actual virus. If everyone could reach out to someone they know that might need a little bit of comfort, that could make the world a better place, and make this scary situation a little easier to handle. Reach out to the elderly people in your family and in your neighborhood. See if there is anything you can do to help them, or make this easier. A lot of elderly people are walking around supermarkets just trying to get the bare minimum, and there’s nothing left for them. Do you party, do what you can, do what you can to make this easier for the people who are at a heightened risk. And if that means giving up one roll of toilet paper, do it.
Keep yourself, your family, and your community safe. Wash your hands with soap, not just sanitizer. And drink a lot of water.
Talk to you soon! Send loving energy out there! That way, we can all get through this together.
Hey! If you enjoyed this podcast, you have to check out www.MarissaFayeCohen.com/Private-Coaching. Marissa would love to develop a made-for-you healing plan to heal from emotional abuse. She does all the work, and you just show up. Stop feeling stuck, alone, and hurt, and live a free, confident, and peaceful life. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Healing From Emotional Abuse podcast, and follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/marissafcohen, and instagram @Marissa.Faye.Cohen. We’d love to see you there!